You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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