I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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