i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
