He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
