Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if only i could text you this smell
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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