no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
