I think i sorta joined a cult last night
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
