He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
