did you get engaged???
I wish I only lived at night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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