so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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