You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
