hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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