I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
