If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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