thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize