I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
