my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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