guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
