I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
