I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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