Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
