dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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