He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
