Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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