I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
