I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
