Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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