she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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