He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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