I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
