Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize