You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
