I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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