My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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