Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
