I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
