Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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