He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
