dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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