it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just forgot I was standing up.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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