one two three fourrrrnication!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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