Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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