Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
