How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
