Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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