She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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