you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
love makes seman taste better
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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