well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
