can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
