I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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