Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
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