I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
