He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
