"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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