id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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