Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
