Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
