after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
