I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
