somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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