people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
