I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
