I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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