just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
