I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
