You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
