And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
