We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
