Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
